心痛了……

我不晓得自己怎么了，
我也不想去想自己怎么了，
我只是单纯地想松一口气。
因为真的好累了……
其实你懂吗？我的心好痛，
我也不知道什么原因，我只懂我的心好痛，
怎么去抓也止不了痛，
好讨厌这样的我，好懦弱。
好久没下雨了……
我好想发泄，发泄得连自己也认不清自己。

现在的我到底怎么了？
我会无时无刻地想要你看我一下，
但是你却不知道……
我哭了，
被你看到了吗？不知道……
明明不想这样的，
为什么我会那么容易地就陷入这种状态？
我好想挖开自己的内心，
我开始变得越来越不了解我自己了。
我连呐喊也做不到，
人不够潇洒，办不到吧？
现在的你，
在哪里？做着什么？
我想你……
能回复我吗……？

失去。

你懂不懂那个等待的感觉，

是多么地痛。

这个世界有一种叫无形的恐惧，

恐惧一旦到达了最高点，就会开始不受控制地哭……

不想听，不想烦。

好讨厌你对我冷漠，

好讨厌你什么都不告诉我……

好讨厌你突然对我说这个……

我好担心你……

满脑子都是你，但是你不懂……

我也好讨厌我自己，

我安慰不到人，

我只能在旁边死死地哭。

心一直在痛，脑袋一片空白，

你也不懂……

可能我说话过分了吧……

.....??

I just wish it will be stop...

How if...

the feeling of heartache,

the feeling of tears dropping out from eyes...

every painful feeling of them,

had became a mistshap.

It just like a knife stabbing inside your heart.

Why does a human will have these stupid feelings...

they are disturbing me,

and it cant be heal...

Acting,is just like a fool...

However I am still fooling around.

I though...

I will be okay today,

but I am not...

I lied...

every of my speech,

full of lies.

Did I just done something wrong?

Could someone just slap me....

I just wish..

somebody can step into,

the black world,

without any lights...

Sunny days never glown,

the sun just hide behind the dark cloud.

Did I really need these feelings?

I dont...

But...

I know...

I treat myself like this,

is better than I tell.

If I tell,

the ending will end up with argurement...

Is it worthing?

I don't know...

There is nothing can make me calm now...

I hope...

I really hope..

You are here...

although,

we cant touch each other,

although,

it has a gaps blocking...

at least...

I can stop these useless foolish emotions.

I feel like...

I am an annoying people,

maybe its the truth...

雨后真的能天晴吗？

生活要是能无忧无虑，那该有多好……
但是如果是生活的无忧无虑的人，
那个不叫人了，那个是死物……
非生物……什么东西都不用去想。

担心，很痛……
在意，更痛……
我怎么了？要疯掉了，
要坏掉了……

不明。

失去很痛，等待更痛……

存在是什么？

对于一个人的存在感，我深感在意。

在意每一个人的存在感，

在意一些忽略我的人。

那一句，

好讨厌。

我，好讨厌。

存在感好低。

想得到别人关心，

却不敢对别人说发生什么事。

想得到别人的爱，

却忍着忍着不让别人知道我想。

我就是这样，矛盾又不直接。

对，我很讨厌别人家忽略，

很讨厌等待，等待，很痛。

痛了，不敢喊，不敢流泪。

只能默默地让他痛。

心，我真的很想挖你出来。

我要看看你，是怎么碎的，

想知道为什么你总是在痛。

你痛些什么……

人家只是在忙，没时间回复而已。

或是说人家都不知道你表达什么。

好像喊……

社交方面，我好差劲。

好像喊出来，

喊不出……我不敢……

又痛了……

有没有得到回复了……

好疼……

明明就很痛，

却硬着头皮也要说不痛。

好讨厌。

为什么我，总是自己拿苦来受……

This is me...

Waitting for you,and hoping something.

19th March 2012

Yesterday,I had been panic....

Panic for the whole day,until now...

Why??

I...flash back many memories..

Yup,maybe its true,

I dint have any childhood.

For my childhood,

I just know what is family problem.

Friends?I met some,

but every one of them had forgot me.

Its not because we are now secondary.

They forgot me since I met them about 1 years ago.

Time is running fast,

because of you.

I set a target.

I want to achieve on my study.

Till today,

I cant be acting happy anymore.

I dont know why,suddenly,

I felt down and down,

should I go to my bed and shout loudly now?

Tears,I really hate you,

luckly,you wont drop infront of people.

You will just show yourself to me,

when I was alone.

I felt lonely...

I started missing someone...

why????

In my heart,

full of painness,

full of question marks.

I hate..

the one who dont know how to communication.

The one who like to being alone,

but she doesnt want to be alone.

The one will get emo eveytime.

The one who easily drop her tears infront of herself.

Yea,

Thats me.....

Dont get why....

I wish what we can do,

is to live happily.....

11th March 2012.

I don't get why...

I cried easily nowasday,

thinking something negative.

What am I doing...

Is it that my heart is broken or what,

my core felt pain....

Why does tears won't stop,

I don't really get why.

What I wish is,

I wish to do myself with the best.

I am acting...

such a liar...